The Panther Booster Club is bringing back their popular Flocking Pink Flamingo FUNdraiser in September and October! All proceeds will be used for Booster Club activities and projects that support Valier Schools students.
According to organizers, the Flam-ingo Flocking season is an ornithological rarity, but they have confirmed reports that large flocks of pink flamingos will soon be migrating to the area. When they do, watch for them to land on lawns of unsuspecting area residents. The Booster Club predicts their arrival sometime during the week of Sept. 30–just in time for Homecoming!
Highly confidential sources tell us that these tacky birds, better known as Pinkus Flamingous Plasticus, tend to arrive in the dark of night. Several members of the Panther Booster Club, who are avid bird watchers, will be out and about awaiting–perhaps even assisting–with their arrival, so don’t be alarmed if you hear their good-natured laughing, giggling and stumbling around while they “bird watch” in your yard!
What happens if the pink flamingos choose to use your yard as a “nesting area” for the night…or longer? Fortunately, many Booster Club members know their nesting patterns and how to encourage them to move along to another “landing site” once they’ve outstayed their welcome.
Should you get a “knock” and notice a “flock” on your lawn, take heart. There will be instructions on how, for a small donation, you can bribe the good folks of the Panther Booster Club to come and help these pesky pink flamingos “migrate” to their next destination. They’re willing to take a few risks to make sure your lawn gets de-flamingo-ed and the students of Valier benefit from your gracious generosity.
Hoping to protect yourself from a good flocking or do you have a case of Flamingo Phobia? Simply call Roni Habel at 279-3613 or 279-3263 or Tawnee Hartwell at 460-1157 to purchase a Flamingo Flocking Insurance Policy for just $10 and you’ll rest easy knowing you won’t have to worry about a pink infestation next week. Spare yourself the embarrassment of being “pretty in pink” and purchase your insurance now!
All monies collected either through the ordering of a flocking or purchasing pink flamingo insurance will go to projects supporting Valier students.
Should you find a flamingo flock in your yard feel free to “share the joy” by contacting any Panther Booster Club member and making a donation for flamingo removal, then you can send the flock packing…to anyone in town who hasn’t purchased “flock” insurance. This is one of those times when the Panther Booster Club urges you not to get mad but to get even!
For more information, to purchase insurance or to order a pink flamingo flocking for your friends and neighbors, please call Habel at the numbers above.