S4

Summer came again last Wednesday, July 31. With it brought some low golf scores and naturally some high scores too. It also brought about a huge change in the individual standings and the team standings. It also brought about some extra fluids being poured down the throats of the club swingers.

There is a new leader in the individual race, as Earl Tail relinquished his “Top Rez Dog” standings to Wil Horn. Wil took over the lead, but Earl, Senator George Heavy Runner and “Lil” Earl Old Person are right on his tracks if Wil’s falls off the trail. Then only a couple of points back in the individual race are Koby Red Horn and Chops Sure Chief, and they both have plenty of sand to slow down their opponents. Then still in striking distance are a bunch of guys who we all know have a bunch of sand, who are Zane Peterson, Steven Powell, Mike Racine, Maurice Red Horn and Travis Blue and Kole Fitzpatrick.

On the team side, the Southside Bushwhackers only relinquished their lead for a week and then took it back. (This sportswriter sometimes learns big words like “relinquished” to show that there are some brains in the ole noggin.) The former team leaders, Twisted Tee, relinquished their lead by almost getting swept, and they are now in the bronze medal position. The Pikunii Fore Play took over the silver medal position, and also tied in that bronze position is the Sons of Pitches team. The early leaders in both categories, Leavitt Group Insurance, who relinquished all leads, are almost falling off the leader pages now. Those guys are David Gordon, Anthony Grant, George Webber and Boney Valandra. Then the Fitzpatrick Trucking team is looking good, but they seem to be stuck in a pothole. Those truckers are Kole Fitzpatrick, Kirk Grant, Zane Peterson and Steven Wagner, and they all should relinquish their license to drive …. golf balls. 

One of the “shoot-out” matches had the councilman Roland Kennerly taking on IHS breakdown fixer, Boney, with Roland getting the win by one stroke of the pencil. Then Steven Wagner took down the individual leader, Earl. In the same team matchup Lil Frank Harrison and Wil steered Kole and Kirk the wrong way while Paul Augare jumped out on Beef Tatsey, but in the end his ball wouldn’t cooperate so Beef got the win. In the same foursome, Southpaw Rod Sellars was lining up on the wrong side of the ball, so ole Bull Powell took advantage of the situation. In the same team matchup, Ronald Valandra had a whole lotta sand to use against “Lil Lotta” Oyts Harrison while Harley DeCarlo ran out of sand on the final holes to give this sportswriter a win. Then another IHS fixer upper, Mike Racine, took on Lil Earl and they ended up with a tie. Then Lil Earl’s teammate, Virgil “not so lil” Last Star cut Edward Flamand’s phone lines. And in a battle at the top of the team standings, two guys with a lot of sand had a battle and two guys with hardly any sand had a battle as Koby took down Merlin, and Travis took down Kyle; then their teammates had Steven Powell get a win over Aaron McLean, and Beasty ran out of sand with Sam Croff. Speaking of sand, Ray Boggs brought his dump truck full of sand to the course against Marc White. But Ray didn’t bring enough sand for his partner, Brian Weatherwax, as Leonard Guardipee took Brian down.

The low gross on the evening, with an excellent one under par score of 35, was Lil Frank Harrison. Then Travis had a 40 while Davey and Kyle both shot 41. The low net of 29 was shared by two sandbaggers, Lil Gary and Roland, while Boney un-loaded the sand in shooting a net score of 30. 

The hole prizes were won as such: the “Long Putt” was rolled in by Lil Gary; the KP was pretty close and taken by Lil Frank; the KP in 2 shots was taken by Lil Beef; and the KP in 3 shots was taken by Lil Earl. The “Dollar Hole” never had so many guys chipping or putting for eagles. All of them came up a little short for the eagle. In the meantime, Steven Powell had a long putt from the fringe, and after seeing all of those eagle tries come up short, he slammed his ball into the pin and it dropped for a birdie. Then all those who could tie with short putts came up crooked or short. Even though it’s been a while and it may have felt good, this sportswriter thinks that Steven should have taken the pin out and then see if he can slam his ball that hard, to make that birdie putt, then win the “Dollar Hole” and all of the $390 that was in the pot. Let’s see that, huh! 

Team Standings

S-side Bushwhackers37-19

Pikunii Fore Play36-20

Twisted Tee35-21

Sons of Pitches35-21

3 Rivers Comm31-25

Big Badger Buffaloes29-27

Hall Ranch27-29

Leavitt Group Ins24-32

Fitzpatrick Trucking24-32

Injuneers24-32

Parisian Gang22-34

The Regulators12-44

Individual Standings

Wil Horn12

Earl Tail11

George Heavy Runner11

Earl Old Person11

Koby Red Horn10

Chops Sure Chief 10

Kole Fitzpatrick9

Zane Peterson9

Travis Blue9

Maurice Red Horn9

Mike Racine9

Steven Powell9

Beasty Racine8

Kyle Sinclair8

Ed Flamand8

Ron Valandra8

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